Let’s Talk About the “What Do I Do With My Hands?!” Feeling

If the idea of standing in front of a camera makes your stomach do cartwheels, you're in good company. One of the most common things I hear from families before a session is, "We're a little awkward in photos..." or "We’re not really photo people." And believe me, I get it.


Just recently, I photographed a family full of big personalities (and a couple of shy ones too). They didn’t seem super camera-shy at first, but they definitely weren’t used to having a lens pointed their way. Instead of jumping into standing poses, I had them start walking toward me, hand in hand. That simple movement - a walk, a laugh, a glance - helped melt away the nerves and got them back to simply enjoying each other. That’s when the real magic happened.

Two teen sisters pose looking at each other in casual summer outfits standing in a sunlit meadow in northern Virginia.
The same two teens are mid-giggle, playfully posing together in a sunny meadow with wildflowers and rolling hills in the background.
An extended family poses comfortably during a family photo session in a field in northern Virginia, with tall grass and trees in background.

As Kevin put it in his review, “We really felt like we were just enjoying the day and each other while surprisingly a camera was somewhere in the vicinity snapping pictures.” That's the goal.


So if you’re worried you won’t know what to do, here’s a little secret: you don’t need to. That’s my job.


Why Posing Isn’t About Faking It

Let’s go ahead and bust this myth together: looking natural in front of a camera doesn’t mean being an expert model.

Authentic moment between parents captured during a relaxed outdoor family photo session in Washington, DC.

It means feeling at ease, knowing where to put your hands (and your toddler's runaway snack cup), and having someone gently guide the moment so it looks and feels like you.


People hear the word "posing" and think stiff, cheesy grins and arms hanging like breadsticks. But when I say "posing," what I really mean is this: I'll guide you.


I’ll tell you where to put your feet, which way to shift your weight, where your arms will feel most comfortable. I might offer a silly prompt or tell a quick story to help coax a natural smile. And if kids are involved - let’s be honest, they often run the show - I come ready with Leo the Lion (a Beanie Baby) who balances on my head and steals the scene just enough to capture those eyes on the camera.


4 Ways to Feel Natural in Front of the Camera


1. MOVEMENT IS YOUR FRIEND

Starting with walking (literally) is one of my go-to techniques. Holding hands, strolling toward me, maybe even swinging the kids between you - all of it creates real connection. You're not posing. You're playing.

This works especially well for families who don’t love the idea of smiling on command. Instead of freezing, we keep things moving, and suddenly a session becomes a fun way to hang out.


2. PROMPTS > POSES

Rather than asking you to “stand like this” and forcing a smile, I use prompts that spark interaction. These can be as simple as:

  • “Look at each other and say your favorite pizza topping like a dramatic movie villain.”
  • "Give me your best lion roar.” (props to Leo the Lion)
  • “Say your favorite TV show in a whale voice.”
  • “Parents only: take a second to look at each other like you just survived bedtime and finally sat down with ice cream.”
Northern Virginia family photographer Sarah Thayer uses a stuffed animal on her head to make kids smile during a playful session.
Northern Virginia family photographer Sarah Thayer uses a stuffed animal on her head to make kids smile during a playful session.

They sound silly (because they are), but that’s the magic. These prompts get everyone looking at each other, laughing, and connecting in a way that feels easy and real — not posed.


3. LET THE KIDS BE THEMSELVES (EVEN THE WIGGLY KIND)

If your toddler wants to run for a minute? We let them run.

Young girl laughing as parents swing her during a candid family photo session in a park in Northern Virginia

It gives them space to relax, and I capture those beautifully wild in-between moments. Then, when it's time to regroup, they’re more ready to listen and engage.


So yes, I’ve seen kids swing from pure chaos to cuddly calm in a single session. And so have their very relieved parents.


4. LET GO OF THE PICTURE IN YOUR HEAD

One important shift I remind my clients of: the goal isn’t perfection. The goal is presence.

Your outfits are already set. You got everyone out the door on time (ish). You’ve shown up, and that’s a win. From here, you get to just be a family - playful, goofy, snuggled up, whatever’s authentic to you. I’m just here to capture it all in a way that feels beautiful and true.


Why It’s Worth It to Be in the Frame

Here’s something I see over and over: At first, a parent books a session just to “finally” get a recent family photo. But by the end, they realize what they’ve really done is document how their family feels - the love, the laughter, even the little mischief or in-between joys.


So if you're feeling awkward or unsure, you're not alone. Every family starts somewhere. The wonderful part? You don't have to do it alone. That’s what I’m here for.


Leave the poses, the M&M smears, and the logistics to me. You just show up, be yourself...

Cozy family snuggled together on a picnic blanket, naturally posed for a lifestyle family portrait in Arlington VA

...and maybe be ready to swing a toddler who insists you do it “again! again!” at least five times.


Ready to Actually Enjoy Your Family Photo Session?

If you're looking for a lifestyle family photographer in Northern Virginia who knows how to make even the "tight smile" folks laugh and the wiggliest toddlers look radiant, I'd love to connect.


You can check out my experience page here to learn more about my process and book a session that finally feels like your family - no stiff posing required.


Photos should be more than pictures. They should be memories you're proud to share, hang, and pass down. Let’s make it easy, real, and above all - joyful!


You’ve already done the hardest part: showing up. Let me take care of the rest.